A step you can't take back

(photo from tumblr)

I thought I understood it when I didn't.It was my fault at the first place I knew I would get hurt.
But because of the serendipity in which I was tempted, I let my first insticts became a track that could lead me to no where. And now I feel lost as I wonder through this new unfamiliar territory. And maybe somehow the "what if/s" are a part of it.

I don't know where I am leading. All I know is that I have been paddling a brush for days now. And painting is the only way I can stop from overthinking all the things I had or have scorn with. And it seems like all I wanted to do is paint, draw, read, or write  about life. In which I can escape from my reality. But I know escaping is not a solution and an answer to allof my quest.

The walls around me are being held tight and I can't breathe. I want to go out and seek for new things but my mind s filled with questions such as how.

Am I doing what makes me happy or what makes other people happy? Why do I always think about what people think.